Journal
Jane "Janie" Vardell Lawton Varn
Volume
I
Û March 19, 1886 - June 19, 1889
Ü
March 19, 1886
I am lying in bed at Cousin Addie Lawton's. I have been here nearly
three months.
March 23rd
Mamma wrote to me today to say that dear little Percy is very ill. He is
not expected to live. Oh! my, it makes one feel so sad. Last night I was
dreaming of Uncle Jud's father; I saw the coffin in which he was laid
out. Then today, feeling badly, I laid on the bed and went to sleep and
dreamed that Cousin Jud came home looking very tired and dusty. We were
not looking for him to come from Wrightville where he went Sunday to
attend cows. And lo! and behold, he walked in very unexpectedly with a
dreadful headache.
I went to church Sunday and communed. I am glad I had the courage to do
it. It made me think so much of home that I could not keep from crying.
The people stared at me dreadfully.
March 24, 1886
Although quite tired, having to mind the baby most of the day as Cousin
Addie has been quite sick and is still so, I must write a few words in
this book. It has been a trying day, and I am afraid that I lost my
temper several times. I felt very discontented with my position tonight,
too, but have prayed to God to send me peace and contentment, and I
believe he will do it.
March 26
I am so glad to write that dear little Percy is better. I am going to
sell my machine to Miss Niner Rhodes.
May 2nd
Sunday night. I went to Sunday School and taught my class. I now have
six scholars, and am very much interested in my duties.
Aunt Julie expects to pay us a visit. She is coming next Wednesday week.
Oh! I am so glad to write that dear old Jake is converted. Blessed be
God's name for it.
May 23rd.
God's holy day. I taught my class and had but two scholars, L.L. and
M.D. Little Maggie always says her lessons very nicely, and she is a
nice little girl.
We expected Aunt Min last night, but she disappointed us. Aunt Julie
could not come when she appointed but will come Wednesday week.
May 31, 1886
Lil went to Sylvania with Uncle Jud yesterday. I took the two children
and went to Sunday School. I wish I could hear more preaching than I do.
We expect Aunt Julie on Wednesday. Hope she will not disappoint again.
June 10th, 1886
Aunt Julie has been with us a week. Oh! I am just crazy to get home. Oh
Lord give me peace and contentment I pray You. Give me thy Grace. I
wrote that at ten tonight and have been quite busy all day, so am real
tired.
June 11th, 1886
I have failed to please my employers in my plan of educating their
daughter. Oh God, give me grace to submit to my lot in this life.
June 23rd, 1886
What shall I say tonight? Life is flowing on with me in the same quiet
fashion that it has done for the last 5 months. Aunt Julie is still with
us but expects to leave on Saturday. We all expect to go down to the
river with her.
Mamma, dear mamma wrote me such a very nice letter, which I received
yesterday. I am so thankful she writes in such good spirits. Aunt J. is
coming to bed where I have been for some time.
Cousin Addie is as good to me as ever, dear soul.
June 28th, 1886
Monday morning before breakfast. Another week of work has commenced. I
must confess I am quite weary of it all. I may teach the public school
next month, but the matter is not decided yet.
July 3, 1886
I will not take the public school for this term, but am in hopes that I
will get it in the months of Jan., Feb., and March. I went to see Dr.
Matthews, met his daughter, Miss Eliza M., and was charmed with her. She
reminded me very much of Alice Spencer. By the way, that mean child will
not write to me as often as I would like her to.
July 17, 1886
Mrs. Buckner paid us a visit of ten days. I like her very much; think
she has a remarkably sweet disposition. Uncle Powell and Cousin Mellie
took us by surprise of Wednesday; they paid us a visit of three days. I
like Cousin Mellie so much more than I used to. In fact I did not know
before what kind of a man he was. I am going home a week from today. Oh!
I am so glad. Tomorrow is Sunday, God's blessed day. Oh! make me enjoy
it as I should, dear Lord. Make me more patient every day.
July 23rd, 1886
I will start for home tomorrow if I live and nothing happens. I feel
real sad at the idea of parting with Cousin Addie and the children. I
hope I may do better next year. May the Lord help me.
Charleston
Sept. 9, 1886
My God, what a time we did have Tuesday night a week ago. An earthquake,
who would have thought our beloved city would be visited by such a
calamity. I was more frightened than I am able to express. I had not a
doubt but what my time to die had come, and oh! I felt so unprepared. I
screamed most terribly; indeed, I hardly know what I did. We left our
house and stayed on the steps until morning dawned. What a blessed
relief it was to see the sun. We then moved over to Dr. Mitchell's;
stayed there a while then went home and got a little breakfast. We
stayed at the Gibbons next door until Friday, then moved up here. Were
fortunate in getting a real nice house. The shocks come occasionally,
but do not frighten us near so badly. Mr. Campbell paid us a short visit
last night but did not say anything religiously to cheer us up.
Sept. 19th, 1886
We are still living, thanks be to God for his mercy. I am in hopes that
the worse is now over. There is a talk of the Negroes rising; I hope
there is no truth in the report. It is Sunday, but I did not go to
church.
Dec. 1st, 1886
I have so much to record and do not know where to begin. I have been
back here since the 8th of last month. Well I guess I may as well tell
about the wedding last night. Brother is married at last. Helen looked
very nicely, indeed, and she appeared so calm. I think I was more
nervous than she was. Brother looked just fine. The old fellow actually
smiled whilst the ceremony was going on. I am so tired; will try to
write more tomorrow.
Dec. 2nd, 1886
I commenced school teaching again today, but with not a very bright
heart. Somehow or the other, I have lost all my energy. I met Mr. Sams
at the wedding Tuesday night; he said I am the only young lady who takes
no stock in him. I like him very much, but he does not seem to think so.
He asked me if I thought of him as a free [?] sort of fellow, and I said
that I did.
Mama is coming on Saturday. I am so delighted. I am not increasing any
at all in spiritual grace; somehow my religion seems dead. I wish there
could be an awakening in me. Lil gives me trouble occasionally; in fact
I do not know how to manage the child.
Dec. 1886, Sunday night
Mamma did not come yesterday; in fact the weather prevented her from
coming. When I looked out this morning, everything was locked up in ice,
and oh! hasn't it been a long dreary day. We could not read for there is
not a pane of glass in the house.
I have been real wicked; I called it a horrid day, forgetting who made
it. Then, too, the children have been so noisy. Oh! Lord, forgive me all
the sins I have committed on this thy day.
Christmas Day, 1886
The year is nearly gone; I am afraid that I have not gotten as much
profit of it as I might have.
What a beautiful day it is. The sun is shining just as brightly as it
can, and what a glorious Christmas Eve it was. I never saw anything to
equal it in my life. It rained in the afternoon. While it was raining
the sun came out and everything looked as if covered with diamonds. Then
such a beautiful rainbow was seen in the east. It all seemed to send
peace to my soul, promising something brighter and happier in the years
to come. I hope it may be so. Tho' I am right happy, my life seems to
lack something. It must be that I have no regular home. I do not know
how long I will stay in this country. Mamma left me last Monday. I have
missed her sorely, especially at night. Altho' 'tis so bright outside, I
am afraid this will be, indeed, a dreary Christmas for me. I will try to
bring comfort to others; by so doing I may derive some for my own
benefit.
Dec, 27th, 1886
Are all men by nature flirts? It really seems that even those who are
considered most honorable are the ones who know the most about flirting.
Who can be poor girls trust? Indeed, it is the highly honorable men who
do the most damage. When we hear of a man being a flirt, we know upon
what grounds to meet him, but when we hear of a man being "correct in
all things", poor creatures, we put our entire trust in him. When he
fails to come up to our standard, what are we to do? Tell the world? Oh!
no. Keep this knowledge in our own hearts and let him still enjoy his
shameless reputation. She would find no sympathy anywhere, rather scorn.
"Hell has no fury like a woman scorned." Oh! Lord, give me thy
protection still; send thy divine comforter into my heart.
Jan. 11th, 1887
The New Year has passed and I have not yet inscribed anything in this
book. It was indeed dull, but I shall not linger now on any unpleasant
subject. I am going home next Tuesday. Have failed to get employment in
the country, so have determined that when I go home I will study short
hand. I will have about ten dollars to devote to any such purpose. I was
very foolish the latter part of last year, but have decided it does not
pay to be sentimental. So away with any such nonsense for the present.
Jan. 16th, 1887
Did I say away with sentimentality? Ah! me, it is too deeply rooted in
my heart to be gotten rid of so easily. Because of a small
disappointment today my heart feels oh! so sad. Indeed, I just could not
stay in the house but have come out here in the woods so that I will be
free from the children, and again I felt as if I could not breathe
freely there. My last Sunday in Scriven; they want me to try for the
school again, but I do not think I will. I have lost all interest in
this place; in fact I have lost interest in everything. My God make me
more comforted every day.
Jan. 20th, 1887
I have been at home for not quite a week, but it seems much longer than
that. I have been doing nothing much of importance. I have been to King
St. but once.
Feb. 13th, 1887
Last week I spent with Brother and Helen. I am afraid to say what I
think of those two people. Sometime I [am inclined] to think them real
happy, then again it would strike me that they were very uncongenial. I
hope, tho
O(',,) all yet will be right between them. I am having such a quiet time
now. I am disappointed about going to Ga. Cousin Addie says there is no
prospect of getting a school there. But I am determined that I will not
sit down with folded hands and wait for fate to provide something for
me. I want to be up and doing, praying God to help me fight the battle
of life in the right way.
I went to Bethel Church this morning, heard a fine sermon from Mr.
Wells about the precious blood of Jesus. I spent the last week at the
phone (?) works with Miss Henry; had quite a pleasant time. Met Miss
Tames, who is a very pretty girl.
March 27th, 1887
Time is still passing rapidly. Eloise was kind enough to invite me to
pay her a visit. Mamie and I spent last week with her. Everybody seemed
to try to make me have a pleasant time, Cousin Nellie especially. Oh she
is a sweet woman. I hope I never do anything to make a rupture in our
friendship. I met you know who; he made himself quite pleasant. I think
that I can now say I feel quite calm on that subject, but mamma, I
think, feels that my heart has been so deeply impressed that seeing him
again may begin things all over again. He is so much better looking than
formerly.
Easter Sunday, Apr. 10th, 1887
Ah! me. How much like my old, old self I have been in the last
twenty-four hours. The good Lord forgive me; I did not intend to be so
wicked. I cannot now tell what it was all about because I feel so
ashamed of myself that I let Satan get in my heart so completely.
Apr. 20th, 1887
How lonely I do feel. Here I am sitting by myself, no one to talk to. I
do not think anyone cares particularly what becomes of me. Ah! me, if I
was only not deaf. I do not think that I would mind peoples' slights so
much if I could hear well. God gives everyone their crosses and this is
mine, but oh! it's sometimes too heavy for me to carry till I ask him to
help me . Then it seems all right until I find I am again carrying it
alone. 'Tis so hard to leave myself in his hands. If I could only do so,
I would have no more real trouble.
Otranto Plantation
May 8th, 1887
Up at Brother's again, yet I once declared I would not come after what
Brother said about my gossiping. I thought it over, and as H[elen]
seemed so anxious for me to come, I concluded to do so. How beautiful
everything is looking now in the country. It makes me fell so sure of
there being a God, and such a good and bountiful one, too.
Charleston
May 22nd, 1887
[the Journal has "1886" but that is surely wrong as this entry
immediately follows one dated 1887 and precedes another also dated
1887.]
It has been such a rainy Sunday. Not one of us went to church. I went
to the Hermiss [?] on Friday evening. Mr. Rivers invited me to go with
Miss Joe and himself. I enjoyed the music very much. Aunt Julie is
staying with us today; she is now sleeping on the bed.
July 11th
Eloise and Aunt Julie came from Sumter today. E and children went over
to the Isl'd this afternoon, but Aunt J. is staying with us tonight. I
have not yet gotten a situation, but don't you believe I have given up
in despair.
July 30th
The month almost gone, but am thankful to say I have some slim hope of
getting employment. I hear Cousin Mellin Mikell is thinking of getting
me for a teacher. I only hope it is so.
Sept. 4th, 1887
You will doubtless be surprised, old journal, when I say we are all in
Summerville again. Most of us came against our wills, but I am glad to
say that I am fast coming to the conclusion it is not such a dreadful
place after all.
Summerville
Sept. 18th, 1887
Helen is quite sick, Her doctors are here. I hope tho' she will get on
all right. If we could only look into the future a little to see how
things turn out, but we must leave it all to God. He doeth all things
right. I am sitting in my room, mamma's and mine, flat on the floor
feeling disconsolate because all alone.
Sept. 19th, 1887
Helen has a dear little baby born at ten minutes past two Wednesday
morning. She is named for mamma, Sarah Rivers
Miss Sue Shultz is staying with us; she is just as nice and jolly as
ever.
I went to church last night with Dr. Thompson. He preached at the
Methodist church. The sermon was right good, very flowery, but somehow
he did not give me anything to bring home to help me on my way. Cousin
Sarah is still here. I expect to go back with her. I hope I will like
it.
Lawtonville
Dec. 7th, 1887
Just time to say a few words. Mr. Morrison, the preacher, was here
tonight. In listening to his conversation it made me wish I had more
time to read.
Lawtonville
Dec. 18th. 1887
I am about to get ready to go to Union Church where they will have
Episcopal services today. It is such a gratification to me to attend my
own church, although I enjoy having Mr. Morrison peach sometimes.
Mamma, dear mamma wants me to come home to spend Xmas, but it will cost
me nine dollars at least, and I feel that I cannot spend so much on one
week's enjoyment. It would be so wonderful if I could. Annie is not
coming here to spend Xmas. I am so disappointed about it. Yesterday we
heard about Cousin Jud being very badly cut by a negro. I hope it is
nothing serious. If I could get over, I would go and stay with dear
Cousin Addie.
Jan. 3rd, 1888
It is the first time this year that I have found time to write a few
lines. I am enjoying splendid health and am in good spirits. God has
been very good to me. I thank him, oh! so much. I will begin to teach at
the parsonage tomorrow. I expect to have eight scholars and perhaps
more. All of Cousin Sarah's [?] children were here on Sunday except
Helen. Today is the old lady's birthday.
I had a very pleasant Christmas. Everyone was so nice and kind. I
dined with cousin Anna Lawton today. She gave us a splendid dinner.
Cousin Sarah, Sallie, and Winnie were also there; the former has not yet
addressed a remark to me. She is certainly a queer specimen.
Jan. 7th, 1888
We just from Porter's this evening. I had a real pleasant time, but
think Mr. Sams acted very strangely indeed. As we were starting off, he
said he was going to Lawtonville and would I ride with him. Of course I
said "yes." Well, when we got to the shore, he jumped out and informed
us that he was not going, made no excuse to me whatever. I do not
understand it at all. It made me feel real small. I consider it a
deliberate story; he is a real fraud.
Jan. 15th, 1888
Sunday night. I went to church, but we had no service as Mr. Sams was
sick. I went with John as usual.
I stayed at Cousin Mellie's from Friday until this morning, had a real
nice time. I helped her make sausage and hogshead cheese.
My school is coming along finely. I have ten scholars.
Lawtonville
Jan. 24, 1888
When I am unhappy, the Lord seems so far from me, and I have not been
feeling very happy lately. What is the matter? Maybe I do not pray the
right way.
Feb. 5th, 1888
I am just from church. Cousin Sarah and Sallie staid in to communion. I
did not like to stay and see them partake of it and be left out. We
started to go to Sunday School this morning but got there too late, so
went to walk in the grave yards.
Cousin Winnie Lawton was here last night, comes very often..
Mr. Morrison's text today was, "Whom say they I, the son of man, am?"
Lawtonville
Mar. 19th, 1888
Monday morning. I have just finished counting my clothes for the wash,
and am sitting here undressed. Directly the breakfast bell will ring,
and I will not be ready. Cousin Sam carried me to the Episcopal Church
yesterday. Mr. Sams gave us a sermon from "Seek ye first the Kingdom of
Heaven and all else will be added to you." Somehow I did not enjoy it as
much as usual.
Lawtonville
March 26th, 1888
Mr. Oswald was here agin last night. What does he mean? Cousin Sam
thinks he is engaged to Isadora Peeples. If that is the case, why does
he come around here every week? I am going over to Scriven on Thursday
with Cousin Addie. From there I expect to go up to Augusta
Steamer Katie. Well, Florrie is quite sick and Cousin Addie cannot
leave Carolina today. So I concluded to go up to Augusta and spend my
vacation. Here I am, the only lady on the boat. By some fatality I seem
doomed to lead a lonely life. Sallie came up from Savannah. She is not
looking at all well, says she is suffering with a sore throat. I stopped
at Cousin Sallie Midlocks; she has such a fine baby. If I only had a
book to read, I would not feel so lonely. I have not had a mouthful of
breakfast this morning and now feel desperately hungry.
Afternoon. Cousin Jud came on the boat just after dinner. He was very
much disappointed at not seeing Cousin Addie. He does not look near as
much disfigured as I expected to see.
Sunday, April 29th, 1888
I have just returned from Augusta.
Lawtonville
June 1st
Cousin Anna has been quite sick, and I stayed over there with her. Helen
has been here since the 10th of May. The poor child does not get any
better. Yesterday when I came home, I asked her how she was. She said
she felt like she was going to die. Oh! my, there is so much sickness
around. I was to have gone home yesterday but am waiting for Helen. Now
I do not know when she will be able to go.
Charleston, S. C.
July 22, 1888
I have been from Lawtonville just a month. Out of that time I spent one
week in Summerville, 3 days on the Island, and one day at Mrs. Bennets.
I am going home this week. Think Helen can do nicely without me; to tell
the truth, I think she will be glad to get rid of me. She is a queer
compound, professes to be very fond of me, but then she does act so very
funnily. Maybe it is somewhat my fault, but I cannot see where I go
wrong. Mamma is staying down here, but do not think she enjoys it very
much.
Summerville, S. C.
Sept. 2nd, 1888
Sunday morning, and oh! how it does rain. Nobody could go to church.
Helen is still sick. It just seems as if ... [this entry ends with the
"as if."]
Sept. 9th, 1888
I put the date, but I have nothing to write. At times I feel quite
desperate. Oh, if I were only not deaf. It is just impossible for me to
bear my cross patiently. It is such a heavy one. It is another rainy
Sunday; no one could go to church.
Summerville
Sept. 23rd, 1888
Sunday night. Eloise has been staying with us since the 13th; she was to
be here but a week. The fever broke out in Gainsville, Fla.; therefore,
she could not pass that way to go to Oviedo, so she is cut off from that
place all around. She, Eloise, has gone to church tonight and left
Douglass with me. He cried but not very much. I think E. spoils him a
little. She was certainly never so indulgent to Julie. Douglass is a
sweet little fellow at times. There are very few words that he can say,
calls water "malky" and sometimes "nurky."
I had a tiny talk with Mr. Ebough today, the first in my life. Can't say
I enjoyed it very much, altho. he is quite a decent soul of a man.
Summerville
Oct. 17th, 1888
Sunday morning. This is communion Sunday, but I do not think I feel in
the proper fram ... [this entry ends just as shown.]
Oct. 24th, 1888
My mind is harassed by money matters as usual. I have just finished
fixing up my accounts. It worries me to see how much money I have spent
on trifles. I made a good lot of money this year, and here I am without
a cent. In fact, I am in debt. If I do not get a position soon, I will
be in a dreadful way.
Ellen Freer [?] spent the night here last night. She is such a nice
girl. I think I love her better than any girl I know. She expects to go
off next Friday week.
This is the day Eloise intended starting for Florida. My thoughts have
been a good deal with the dear child.
Summerville, S. C.
Sunday, Oct. 28th, 1888
Aunt Valeria went to her heavenly home last Wednesday just about
twilight. I know she is now happy, but I would have liked so much to see
the dear little lady once more before she died. Caris Kiser brought her
down. She is buried on James Island. I hope when I die, they will not
carry me over there. I want to be buried in the same place I die.
Macon, Ga.
Dec. 2nd, 1888
Sunday evening. I came here last Monday night with Cousin Lula Starr,
with whom I am staying. I do not like it much and do not think it will
be possible to stay more than this month out. I went to Augusta
Wednesday night. Saw the exposition; some of the things were very good
indeed. Sissie came from Summerville Thursday, and we traveled over here
Friday. I have been oh! so dreadfully homesick, more so than I have ever
been since growing up. I want to hear from mamma very much; have not
received one line.
Macon, Ga.
Tuesday night. Dec. 4th, 1888
Cousin Willie went off yesterday and returned just; he came in and did
not even say good evening. What do you call to that? I say he has no
manners, excuse me for using the expression. I do not like this place
much better. Will leave it as soon as I see an opening for another. I
only have to pray the Lord to make me contented. Oh! my religion has
been such a comfort to me since I have been through this horror. If I
survive, I will then know that I can survive anything, or I am much
mistaken. I have been feeling so badly the last few days, yet not once
has has an inmate of this house noticed it, tho' [I] have been very
hoarse indeed. Sissie came to see me this evening. Somehow her visits
make me feel badly, or should I say sadly. Maybe now I am ungrateful for
all the blessings I have, but oh! it is so hard to stay away from home.
The trouble is mamma spoiled me too much there; then, too, Cousin Addie
was too good and kind. And dear Cousin S., who could have been better
than that sweet soul?
Wednesday night.
I have spent a pleasanter day today than I have done since my arrival
here. I suppose it is because I am getting more accustomed to the place
and folks. Mr. Anderson is boarding here; he appears to be a quite
decent sort of a man. I never have anything to say to him. I suppose he
does not want to talk to me.
Dec. 25th, 1888
Here I am in Macon. Sissie is spending the day here. I am going to leave
here soon.
Macon, Ga.
Dec. 31st, 1888
The last time I shall write 1888. Oh! how inexpressibly sad it makes me
feel. The year has gone. What have I accomplished? I think I can truly
say that I feel nearer my Savior than I did a year ago. My mother, I
think of you this night, wishing I was now with you.
I do not know how much longer I will remain in Macon. I hope not much
longer. My head aches me tonight so cannot write any more.
Kearse, S. C.
Jan. 16th, 1889
Arrived here last Sunday morning. Everybody has been so good and kind. I
am grateful to the Lord.
Kearse, S. C.
Feb. 7th, 1889
My birthday; no one in the house knew of it but myself. Twenty-six years
old today; yet I do not feel old; in fact, can feel no change in myself.
I am still very much pleased with my position. Mrs. Lockwood is so
thoughtful of me. She is as sweet soul as ever lived. She expects to
have a picnic in April. Mrs. Carpenter, her sister, is staying here. I
do not know whether I like her or not. Will have to leave it to time to
decide. She has two daughters, and I can see that she very certainly [?]
wishes me to teach them while she remains.
Kearse, S. C.
Feb. 26th, 1889
Today Dr. Lockwood examined my ears. I hope that he may do some good.
Kearse, S. C.
March 4th, 1889
Eloise writes me that Cousin Sam Clarke is dead. Is it not strange that
the news should come to me all the way from Florida, and here I am not
thirty miles from Lawtonville.. Dear old gentleman, he did more harm to
himself than anyone. I cannot but believe that his soul is with the One
who made it. I reproach myself very much that I never answered Cousin
Sarah's letter. I have had some very sinful feelings in my heart ever
since last summer and must endeavor to speedily rid myself of them with
God's assistance.
Everybody is so good and kind to me. I just cannot express in words how
grateful I am for all the respect that is paid me. I hope that I may be
able to return it in a measure some day.
Kearse, S. C.
March 17th, 1889
Sunday evening. Oh! my, this has seemed not a bit like the Sabbath. I am
afraid that I am growing very worldly. I went to ride this morning with
Mrs. L. and the children and this afternoon with the Doctor. I would
like to express myself on a certain subject but do not know who may see
this book. Mr. Searce came to take me to ride this afternoon. He says he
is coming to take me horseback riding. I am afraid Mrs. Lockwood got mad
with me just now . She asked me to come out and play for them, and I
answered that I could not play decently, which is the truth.
Kearse, S. C.
March 19th, 1889
Just have received a leter from Miss Joe Bennet. She writes to say that
she is to be married on the 17th of next month; and she did not invite
me. I always thought that Miss J. would have me at her wedding if she
had no one else, but it looks as if all my old friends are giving me up.
Perhaps it is somewhat my fault. The Lord is very grand in raising up
new ones for me. I suppose in time they will get cold too. It makes me
feel sad — and not only sad, but bitter — that there should be so little
constancy in this world. If it was the will of the Lord, I don't think I
would mind leaving it anyway. Mamma is the only tie that binds me to it.
Oh! if it were only so that I could stay with my mother. I can only beg
my Heavenly Father to make me contented and satisfied with the state to
which he has called me. I have indeed a comfortable home here. It is my
own fault if I am unhappy.
Kearse, S. C.
Apr. 10th, 1889
Just heard of the birth of Brother's little boy. Oh! I am very thankful
that Helen is over her trouble. Only wish Mrs. Lockwood were too. I went
to ride with the Doctor this afternoon. I do so enjoy riding with him;
he certainly makes himself very pleasant.
I got a sweet letter from mamma this afternoon. She has been staying
down at Nimmie's. Well, I must say good night.
Kearse, S. C.
Apr. 13th, 1889
Just gotten in from a ride with Doctor. Riding is really the only
enjoyment I have in this country. I wonder if I will be home next
Saturday night at this time. I hope so, and yet I do hate to leave Mrs.
L. She does get so low spirited at times. Now this morning I felt dull.
Sunday, May 19th, 1889
12 P.M.
Frank Sease has just left. That is not very long ago.
[This brief entry is followed by a little pencil sketch of flowers.
Whether it was drawn at midnight or whether Frank Sease had anything to
do with it is anybody's guess!]
May 23rd, 1889
Such a beautiful writing desk the doctor has given me, but, though very
much delighted with it, I cannot say I enjoy it very much for it looks
as if he wished to pay me for the little I have done for all of them.
Kearse, S. C.
May 26th, 1889
Just returned from church. I went with Mrs. Lockwood, and we took the
baby who was just a month old yesterday. The dear little soul behaved
beautifully.
I enjoyed the sermon so much today, believe Mr. Wilson made a braver
effort than he has ever done before. His sermon seemed to come from his
heart. He seemed to have studied more than he had done at all. Dr. and
Mrs. Williams expect to return home this afternoon, cannot say I am
sorry, tho' I must say I like Mrs. Williams much better than expected.
Kearse, S. C.
May 29th, 1889
For over two weeks I did not put my foot in the Doctor's buggy. Mamma
wrote to beg me not to do so.
June 3rd, 1889
Oh! so tired, weary, and worn. I just don't feel fit for a single thing
today. Everything looks wrong.
June 4th, 1889
Dr. Lockwood has been quite sick, poor fellow. I know he suffered a
great deal.
I received two letters, one from Helen and one from Marion. Marion's
disappointed me somewhat; she writes in such a frivolous strain. H.'s
was ...
June 8th, 1889
Took a long ride with the Doctor yesterday afternoon; enjoyed it hugely,
too.
June 12th, 1889
Mrs. Lockwood thinks I have nothing to worry me. She says I need not be
away from home. That is very true, for Nimmie says he will support me. I
could not rest contented this day with the knowledge that I was able and
could do for myself yet would deliberately sponge on my brother.
Kearse, S. C.
June 19th, 1889
I have been waiting for breakfast for an hour and a half. Some mornings
...
11 O'clock P.M.
Now am ready for bed. Oh! these people are too good to me. I just feel
that I can never repay them. The Dr.'s sister has been [here] since
Sunday. She is a dear little soul. I have quite fallen in love with her.
Think there is something very fascinating about her. My little namesake
is growing so fast, but she does not notice much yet. I am going home in
a little over a week. Don't you know I am delighted.
Return to Preface | Volume 2 -- July 17, 1889 - October 29, 1899
Volume 1 -- March 19, 1886 to June 19, 1889
Volume 2 -- July 17, 1889 - October 29, 1899
Volume 3a -- October 29, 1899 - July 22, 1928
Volume 3b -- September 1, 1939 – March 15, 1941
Volume 4 -- August 17, 1941 - August 22, 1943
Volume 5 -- October 1, 1943 - June 13, 1947
Volume 6 -- July 5, 1947 - May 2, 1955
